Last post of my previous blog

In a way it is still unrequited, atleast that’s how I see it. But I promise myself, for the sake of us, I will not end it THAT way. If anything I hope this will make me more eager to be with you.

Every passing day adds fuel to my desire and passion for you, I am only hoping that it doesn’t engulf my entirety as I know that this flame has to be kindled. When that day comes I pray that I not be brought down with it, I hope that day will not kill my want to be happy. If those that I hope for will come to pass, my feelings for you will lay doormat waiting for you to rekindle it again. Be it during the right or wrong time, I don’t think I will care. When, not “if” but “when”, that day comes I know that I will not hold back and will continue loving you as I do now. In the long run, I don’t think it really matters how many times we get it wrong. In the long run, I do not care how many times I would have to kill a part of myself to preserve my whole being.

Your voice that night was soothing, whispering sweet nothings and gently lulling me to sleep.

They say that I am young and naïve, but that’s what every older adult tells someone younger. When will u ever be seen as “wise”? I know that cannont be measured in years. So screw them I tell myself. That doesn’t mean that I do not heed their caution, it just means that I know what I want and need in this stage of my life.

Ever since Tuesday I was completely blissful, given I had to undertake that bloody surgery and am still in pain but with you, with us, I was at peace. Apparently it wasn’t the same with you, late last night you said that something was amiss since Monday and that made me feel stupid. Here I was content and happy yet you weren’t, I’m sorry for not noticing that you were still irked from our previous argument. As always, you’re right. We are walking in thin ice, I was too caught up in my little bubble to notice, I guess a part of me knew but was too stupid, or something, to heed it. I cant give u something that you want/need and because of that I think we wont last for years, maybe months a year or two but that would be pushing it in my opinion. That doesn’t mean that I’ll give up and start trying to ease the impact the end would have on me, if anything it makes me want to give you more. I want to be able to say to myself that I have given you all of me during our short errrr relationship? :p uhmm yeah. I want these moments to make up for those coming when I’m not by your side showing you how much I adore and love you.